We’ve all had them. Those ‘drop you off the edge of your world and right into another’ type of moments. Everything goes from black and white with subtle hues to psychadelic colors, unforseen landscapes of fuscias and emeralds, shots of gold, and streaks of lime. You know…one minute your comfortable and content and the next minute you are thrown for a loop and loving every minute.
OK so maybe we haven’t all had those moments but I hope most of us do at some time in our lives. I just had a pretty big one this week and so many things I thought I knew about myself have now been tested, twisted, and lost in the maze of color.
My little sister just had her first baby, my first nephew, and the first little nugget in our immediate family. She was due in a month, but Leif was ready to come out into this world and so he did. In the car. On the way to the hospital. After three contractions. HOLY TRAUMATIC experience! I mean bless her little heart, She’s a fairly thin person to begin with, no hips whatsoever, and no experience giving birth and Sh’Bam! But he’s here, he’s beautiful and he’s perfect. An untamed, unobstructed mirror of who we all were, can be, and already are…underneath it all. Mom and Pop are fine too. Still in the shock of the aftermath i’m sure but also in complete awe.
So now, for the first time my path to enlightenment has another curve, another wrench in the toolbox. I’ve never wanted children. I’ve enjoyed “ooo”ing and “aaaah”ing at everyone elses but i’ve never had the desire. In fact I thought that the whole maternal instinct was absent in my DNA. This is now null-and-void. When the universe is ready for it to happen, children will now be part of the equation. For now i’m ecstatic to be an Aunt…and it puts a lot of things back into perspective.
Santosa-contentment. After looking at his pouty lips, his radiant smooth skin, his mop of dark “sandy” hair, and his sea blue eyes this is what came over me. I could stare at that little man forever- in the stillness, in the silence, in the firey screaming and crying, in the laughter and in the poopy diapers (although I haven’t tackled his yet ) pretty much in it ALL.
Abundance- so much abundance in the eyes of a child. Bank accounts mean nothing, success means something entirely different. Abundance is innate in the fabric of their being.
Joy. ’nuff said.
OK enough of the chit chat- here are some pictures. You might need to brush and floss after, because these are SUPER sweet <3
And once again, now the teaching of yoga begins.
Sending you all a little bit of the cuddles, kisses, gurgles, and pure love i’ll be taking with me.